At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize