sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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