what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
