I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
