it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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