I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
