Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
