It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
try to milk me bitch
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