I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
