so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
