I must be too annoying 4 u.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
sarcasm needs its own font
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize