Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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