You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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