and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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