On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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