i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
