It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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