I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
