the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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