You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
