Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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