im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
