i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
