The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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