guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Randomize
