my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
