So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
