You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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