quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
