he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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