There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
