I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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