Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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