You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
