Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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