i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We had sex on a dog bed..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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