Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
