So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
