Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
