i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
