As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
