so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
