Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
