I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
