It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
