I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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