Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
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