oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
