I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Boobs are out for the taking
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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