What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
