Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm going to jail i love you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
