Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
