I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
