Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
