I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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