ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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