swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's on the porch naked. Help.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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