Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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