I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me š
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when Iām eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
You told him he ācould park his dick in your garageā.
Well he didnāt. It shouldnāt be this hard to get a penis.
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