smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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