She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
