I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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