is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
That accounts for only three of the penises
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
