this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
