I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
