do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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