just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
