drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
